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20 Sided Stories
PIRATES OF THE PUBLIC DOMAIN
Ronald (Prologue)
Air Date: January 18, 2023
[20 Sided Stories intro music.]
Emily Ervolina: Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Welcome to 20 Sided Stories.
[Intro music crescendos and cuts off.]
Prince Ronald Angevin (Prologue)
The Storyteller: Ya know what they say?
[Muffled, watery explosion.]
Best put your money where your mouth is.
[A grim crescendo. Classical music starts; Bach on harpsichord
and cello.]
Evening: Palace Gelndala. Royal year 1716.
Ronald Angevin: I say, Margery, could you come here for a minute?
[High heels approach. A cozy fire crackles in a fireplace.]
Margery: Yes, darling? What is it?
Ronald: I'm having a difficult time putting together this sentence. I'm trying to write a speech
for myself later to give at the banquet.
Margery: Well, what- what does it say so far?
Ronald: It says...
[Ronald lifts his cue card with a flourish.]
Hello...all of you.
[Stifled laughter.]
It's about what I've got at the moment.
[Margery hesitates, taking a deep breath.]
And I just... [sighs]
Margery: Well...
[Upbeat, whimsical adventure music.]
The Storyteller: There's no doubt that young Prince Ronald is seen exclusively in the shadow of his
father, Ronald Angevin the First, King of Gelndala. The prince once knew an
adventurous lover, but those wild years are left behind him. He now pursues the
throne, arranged in a marriage to Lady Margery. And anticipating next year's gala,
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Ronald (Prologue) - Page 2
Prince Ronald has been hoping that his father will finally transfer over to him that
beautiful bright crown of light.
This is Crew Prologue 1 of 7: Prince Ronald, the Financier.
[Whimsical music fades out.]
Ronald: I- I was to say some nice things about the people here at the court and- Margery: Well, darling, do what you do best. Just talk about yourself, darling. Be natural,
darling.
Ronald: Talk about me?
Margery: Yes!
Ronald: I figured you might be tired of that.
Margery: [amused scoff] How could I be?
Ronald: [sighs] You know, I just- I always felt like this arranged marriage that we've got coming
up between us...you didn't actually love me and so... Well- Margery: That’s a lie! I lo- I- I’ve always loved you, darling. From the very beginning! J-just talk
about yourself the whole night, dear.
Ronald: [hesitant] You think- you think the people will like that?
Margery: Oh, definitely! I mean, why wouldn't they?
Ronald: That's true! Why wouldn't they? They should be proud they've got such a great prince
who's full of vigor and courage and... Look at my natural glow! This is not fake at all.
And these hands I have, come here, darling.
Margery: Yes!
[Ronald and Margery step closer to each other.]
Ronald: Be held in my- in my large, very, very normal to above-normal size hands. They’re
definitely not small.
Margery: They’re- yes, they're normal. [nervous laugh]
Ronald: Yes.
Margery: Well, I’ve... I have to confess...
[Margery takes a few steps away.]
I was nervous about this arrangement because, um...
Ronald: Out with it.
Margery: I know you've had a past...love.
Ronald: Oh. Her.
Margery: Yes.
Ronald: Don't worry about her. She's- she's nothing to me. You're everything.
[Margery approaches again.]
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Ronald (Prologue) - Page 3
Margery: Then why do I hear you scream her name out in the middle of the night?
Ronald: I- Margery: Darling, why do you spell her name in the mirror after a shower?
Ronald: I thought those fits were done.
Margery: You have crocheted things with her name on them!
Ronald: Damn you, hands!
Margery: You started needle point, which I've never seen anyone take up so quickly, just to
spell someone's name over and over.
Ronald: Oh, you know, they say you must start with trash before you move on to gold. And
th-that's where I see her. Her name is trash and so that's what I'm practicing with.
Margery: There is a painting of her.
Ronald: No more feelings. The- the love I have for her is totally there, but in the gone fashion.
[Muffled pounding on a door.]
Delivery Guy: [muffled] KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
[Greg stifles laughter.]
Ronald: You can just knock on the door. You don't have to say it. Come in.
[Door creaks open and a Delivery Guy enters.]
Delivery Guy: I have a flower delivery for a...Lady Aiosee?
Ronald: Uh...
Margery: Oh. My. God! [frantic breathing] Oh my god!
Ronald: [panicked] Who sent this? Who?!
Delivery Guy: Um, sir, you did.
Margery: You did!
Ronald: The- wri- I- I must’ve wrote the name incorrectly on the card because of my
needlepoint. Damn you, hands!
Delivery Guy: I’m just gonna set this on the little end-table here. Tally ho.
[Delivery Guy hurries away.]
Ronald: Guards! Grab that man and put him in the cellar!
Delivery Guy: Wha- what the fuck? You can’t arrest the messenger!
[The guards grab the Delivery Guy and put him in chains.]
Ronald: There you go, pick him up. There you are.
Delivery Guy: That’s not fair!
Ronald: There. Twirl him around.
Delivery Guy: Stop that! Ah! Ah! Ah!